Homebuilding in the Desert
Erik & I had a long conversation the other night about how we are struggling to get plugged into a church, friendships, etc., after moving to Kentucky back in August. It feel like we’re living in a friendship desert. I was still mulling over our Relational Sahara situation when this post from 2008 came to mind. Now this command is reverberating in my brain:
“Make yourselves at home.”
~Jeremiah 29, MSG
A one-year commitment
We went into this move knowing it was only a one-year commitment, and we would be moving again for Erik’s job by next summer. Twelve months. That’s it. Then, we move on. Despite knowing how desperately we need a strong support network here, it’s been really hard to put in the effort to build a life and a home in a new place knowing it’s only temporary. And yet, we both feel like that’s what we’re supposed to be doing.
Easier said than done, God. A little help here?
Add one toddler
Not only is it emotionally draining trying to make friends and get plugged into a community knowing we’ll be leaving in a few short months, but we also have the already demanding task of raising a ridiculously active toddler (who until recently would only take one 30-minute nap per day!). Figuring out the logistics for attending choir rehearsals, playdates, or small group get-togethers and making sure nap and bedtime schedules remain in tact (or suffer the consequences) is about more than my poor Mommy Brain can handle.
As much as I want to be a great mom AND be plugged in to a great support network, I just can’t figure out how to make it work. I’m exhausted.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way… Right??
I’m also beginning to learn that my ideal isn’t always possible. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” has always been my motto. “Don’t TELL me I can’t!” is a close second. But when I wanted to be a great mom AND a great Resident Director, I never could manage to be both at the same time, so I had to make a choice. There would still be college students when my baby was grown, but I only have her for a short time. So, I left dorm life for Mommy life. It wasn’t how I wanted things to play out, but I know it was the right decision.
Did I mention I’m an INTROVERT?
But what do I do now when being a great mom is dependent upon having “village” to help me? How do I find a community of kindred spirits when I’m too worn out from wrangling an 18-month-old to go out and build relationships? Please remember – Introvert here! When I’m already running on fumes, the LAST thing I want to do is go be around more people I don’t really know. :/ See my dilemma?
Anyone else homebuilding in the desert?
I know I can’t possibly be the only person to have dealt with this situation. Are you stranded in your own toddler-induced desert? Have you found your way to an oasis of friendship and support? How did you make yourself at home in a new place, knowing it’s only a temporary stop? Desperate, lonely mommies want to know!
As a former University Resident Director, Career Counselor, Certified Personality Trainer, and high school Spanish teacher, Laura has quite the “scattered” background — with one underlying theme: education! She writes to teach and inspire women on topics related to faith, family, and lifework. She is also a resume writer, specializing in resumes for moms, career changers, and new graduates.
