A Lesson in Faith: Planning a Wedding with No Groom in Sight
I hadn’t dated in 11 years. WHY would God ask me to plan a wedding with no groom in sight?! Turns out, it all came down to a lesson in faith.
About two years before my now husband entered my world, I was a single woman, living on my own, working as a Resident Director at a small, private, engineering school, and desperately trying to NOT be super frustrated with my single status. Singleness is supposed to be a “gift,” right?
Well, maybe for Paul it was, but it sure didn’t seem like much of a gift for me.
Surrounded by college students, who even in their complete nerdiness seemed to miraculously find their soul mates, I felt completely and utterly alone.
Aside from my co-workers (most of whom were married or married with kids), I didn’t even have non-student friends. I was just LONELY.
And it seemed like God was sleeping or just didn’t care.
The Command
As I was getting ready for bed one night, I was struck with the overwhelming thought that I needed to plan a wedding. But this wedding wasn’t for one of my students – even though there are several each year! – this time it was MY wedding I needed to plan.
Why, God? There is no man in sight for me to marry. Why should I spend all this time and energy planning a wedding?
I soon realized I didn’t have to actually plan the whole thing. I had wedding magazines lying around from helping students, and I’d been collecting pictures and ideas in a “Dreamin’” file for years. At the very least, I could pick through the things I’d already pulled and decide which styles I liked best in dresses and rings, what kind of flowers I liked, color schemes, etc.
So, I dove in, stayed up entirely too late looking over all my clippings, and still didn’t really know why I needed to plan my wedding, other than the standard “just in case.”
Remember that time God asked me to plan a wedding with no groom in sight? Share on XWhy Did I Need to Plan a Wedding with No Groom in Sight?
A few days later, I was thinking and praying about why I felt so strongly that this was something I needed to do. God couldn’t have been clearer: because I needed to be prepared!
God asked Noah to build the ark years before he actually needed it.
In the parable of the ten virgins, they had no idea when the bridegroom would arrive, but they had to be ready for that moment or they’d miss the wedding entirely! Now, if THAT didn’t snap me to attention!
God frequently asked His children to prepare for a coming event years and years in advance. But when the time finally came to move, they HAD to be ready the very instant He said “Go!” They had to move FAST, or they’d miss it. In some cases, they even died because they didn’t move quickly enough! However, snap decisions aren’t so hard to make when we’ve already run the scenario ten times in our heads. ?
It struck me: if a man showed up tomorrow, decided I was the one, and asked me to marry him, could I say yes?
What if he said, “Great! I’ll give you two weeks, but then we’re getting hitched whether you’re ready or not”?
Yikes!
It hit me at that point that I had always WANTED to get married like that. Not elope necessarily, but once we know, we KNOW, and we’re doing it NOW! I wanted my friends and family to be there, but I didn’t want to spend months planning a big fancy wedding. I never had.
So, there was a practical part to what God’s telling me to do here. He was saving me the headache of planning in a crunch! I’d be able to say yes and marry quickly without worrying about too much because I’d already have the big decisions made.
I kind of liked this plan!
An Eternal Parallel
The next thing God showed me about this rather random request is that just like the ten virgins who didn’t know when the bridegroom was going to show up, I don’t know when my husband is going to show up. Neither do I know when THE Bridegroom is going to return for me.
Not only do I need to be ready to marry up quick, but I need to be ready to leave this world for a much better one “in the twinkling of an eye.” I’m not going to have time to plan and get my ducks in a row when Jesus comes back. I have to have it all ready to go – I have to have ME all ready to go – the instant I hear that trumpet sound.
That’s really what faith is all about, isn’t it?
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
~ Hebrews 11:1 ~
Even though there was not a man in sight to marry at the moment, God was asking me to not only pray in faith for my husband to come, but to act on that faith and make preparations for when he came.
I had to trust that I did hear God correctly, that he did intend for me to marry one day.
If I didn’t really believe a groom was coming, I didn’t have to worry about planning. But, if I really and truly believed that God was bringing a husband for me, I had to plan for when he finally decided to show up.
It all came down to a lesson in faith, a lesson in trusting the God who made those promises.
A Lesson in Faith for All of Us
God is asking all of us not only to talk about faith, but to live in faith, to live like He’s coming back for us, like we really believe it.
The only way we can make plans for an uncertain future and keep living from a heart wholly devoted to Christ is if we are sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not yet see.
The only way we can make plans for an uncertain future and keep living from a heart wholly devoted to Christ is if we are SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not yet see. Share on XBy the way, after an 11-year “dating drought,” my husband DID eventually show up. We met online, and once he arrived on the scene, we went from matched to married in 5 months, including a 5-week engagement.
Needless to say, I was SO glad God had me prepare for a quick run for a good, long while before it actually happened! In fact, after prepping for a 2-week engagement, five weeks was a luxury!
What future hopes & dreams are you holding on to?
Is God asking you to make a plan NOW for when He brings them to fruition?
Is He asking you to make space in your life for this hoped-for something new?
Tell us in the comments!
As a former University Resident Director, Career Counselor, Certified Personality Trainer, and high school Spanish teacher, Laura has quite the “scattered” background — with one underlying theme: education! She writes to teach and inspire women on topics related to faith, family, and lifework. She is also a resume writer, specializing in resumes for moms, career changers, and new graduates.
Thank you for your encouraging article. It is good to know that I am not the only one walking a faith journey based on God’s promise for a husband. I am middle aged, single and never dated. Three years ago, one man was interested however he had dishonorable intentions. I refused him because I knew I had to remain obedient to God. Right after that God gave me a prophetic promise for me and my husband. I have spent the time learning and growing in my relationship with Jesus and others. I have wondered if I am going crazy. Did I lose my mind already? Will it ever end? Thankfully I have a few supportive friends that believe that God will do what He says. I even met a lady that said she could “see” my husband. Through all the episodes of discouragement and doubt He has faithfully continued to give me promises in his Word. I have not dated because I have not been asked. There are few single Godly men my age. I have served and gone to wholesome places where you would expect to meet someone. God told me not to go online after my friends reported some of the dangerous men on there. I could not endure the repeat broken hearts they suffered also. In February of 2020, God told me that I would be married by this time next year. It is now late October. I have not met anyone yet. The Holy Spirit prompted me to visit a bridal store. That certainly was a place I never dreamt of visiting. It turns out the wait is 4 or 5 months. If I had not have gone then I wouldn’t have found “the” dress in time. I took another leap of faith. I ordered my wedding dress. I purchased a trousseau. I have dreamt of weddings, venues and pinned away. Some decisions are on hold because I will need to consult my future husband. I have spent considerable time reading and preparing for a Godly marriage. I prayed and asked God if I could at least have a date to work with. He gave me Jan. 23. The anniversary date will be 1/23. That will make it easier for my husband to remember. I called my church to inquire about their requirements for a wedding and reception. The lady asked my grooms name. I explained a little about my faith walk because my preacher talks about miracles and believing God’s promises. I imagine she asked herself “how many nuts are in this church?” When push comes to shove, who knows if people really believe? During the past few months I have been hit with back pain, skin cancer, financial difficulties, and abandonment by a best friend. I know the enemy does not want this marriage to happen. All through this journey I have prayed that no person or thing come between my Father and myself. Many things including the idea of a husband and even the dress have become an idols. I have questioned Him, His Word, what I have heard. Did God ever do this to any other woman in all of history? Why do I have to believe and wait while others are blessed with someone with little effort on their part? I want to scream to them. Do not take it for granted that you will get to grow up, have a boyfriend, get married and have children! Make sure that God is at the center of your marriage. Thank God for what He has given you! Fight to keep it because the enemy will try to take it away. And never stop praising Him for all that He has done and all that HE WILL DO!
Wow, Heather! What an incredible testimony of faith! It definitely IS easy for the idea of marriage, a husband, kids — whatever it is we don’t currently have — to become an idol, and it’s a battle to tear those altars down. It sounds like you’ve definitely got your priorities straight and are fully aware of the spiritual battle that comes with both waiting for a husband and in keeping a marriage strong. Thank you for the reminder to never take what we have for granted and to always keep God at the center of our lives. I’m praising Him for what He’s going to do in your life and praying you through as you wait on Him! Please keep me posted!
Thank you for your prayers. I have been through a season of deep discouragement and heartbreak. Back in November, I realized that things were not going to come to pass the way I envisioned. Despite what I believe God spoke to me, He has not brought a man into my life yet. There will no marriage anytime soon. I do not know when it will happen. I wept every day. I have wrestled with God and questioned my beliefs and my faith. If I could not trust what I believe was His voice then how could I trust Him for anything else? He is the author of knowledge. Why would He speak something and it not come to pass? I asked if I committed some unrepented sin? Did my future husband give up and marry someone else? Did God get tired of my shifting waves of doubt? I do not know the answers. I know that I have to trust His timing. He has a better plan. He is all powerful. He can change things as He sees fit. God has been patient, kind and forgiving. He sends reminders of His faithfulness each day. My “word” for 2021 is ABIDE. I will focus on abiding in Him so He can prepare me for the future that He has planned. “God blesses those who do not fall away because of me” Matthew 11:6. Thanks for listening. May God bless you richly.
I hear your heartbreak, Heather. I’m sorry things haven’t worked out as you had believed they would. It’s crazy how God chooses to work sometimes. I think my journey, in particular, was mostly about getting MY heart ready and holding onto faith in spite of my circumstances. Perhaps your journey is in that phase, too. I will keep you in my prayers and pray you will learn to ABIDE in Him, that He will meet all your needs and that He will provide the comfort and encouragement you need. ❤️