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I hadn’t dated in 11 years. WHY would God ask me to plan a wedding with no groom in sight?! Turns out, it all came down to a lesson in faith.

About two years before my now husband entered my world, I was a single woman, living on my own, working as a Resident Director at a small, private, engineering school, and desperately trying to NOT be super frustrated with my single status. Singleness is supposed to be a “gift,” right?

Well, maybe for Paul it was, but it sure didn’t seem like much of a gift for me.

Surrounded by college students, who even in their complete nerdiness seemed to miraculously find their soul mates, I felt completely and utterly alone.

Aside from my co-workers (most of whom were married or married with kids), I didn’t even have non-student friends. I was just LONELY.

And it seemed like God was sleeping or just didn’t care.

The Command

As I was getting ready for bed one night, I was struck with the overwhelming thought that I needed to plan a wedding. But this wedding wasn’t for one of my students – even though there are several each year! – this time it was MY wedding I needed to plan.

Why, God? There is no man in sight for me to marry. Why should I spend all this time and energy planning a wedding?

I hadn't dated in 11 years. WHY would God ask me to plan a wedding with no groom in sight?! Turns out, it all came down to a lesson in faith.I soon realized I didn’t have to actually plan the whole thing. I had wedding magazines lying around from helping students, and I’d been collecting pictures and ideas in a “Dreamin’” file for years. At the very least, I could pick through the things I’d already pulled and decide which styles I liked best in dresses and rings, what kind of flowers I liked, color schemes, etc.

So, I dove in, stayed up entirely too late looking over all my clippings, and still didn’t really know why I needed to plan my wedding, other than the standard “just in case.”

Remember that time God asked me to plan a wedding with no groom in sight? Click To Tweet

Why Did I Need to Plan a Wedding with No Groom in Sight?

A few days later, I was thinking and praying about why I felt so strongly that this was something I needed to do. God couldn’t have been clearer: because I needed to be prepared!

God asked Noah to build the ark years before he actually needed it.

In the parable of the ten virgins, they had no idea when the bridegroom would arrive, but they had to be ready for that moment or they’d miss the wedding entirely! Now, if THAT didn’t snap me to attention!

God frequently asked His children to prepare for a coming event years and years in advance. But when the time finally came to move, they HAD to be ready the very instant He said “Go!” They had to move FAST, or they’d miss it. In some cases, they even died because they didn’t move quickly enough! However, snap decisions aren’t so hard to make when we’ve already run the scenario ten times in our heads. ?

It struck me: if a man showed up tomorrow, decided I was the one, and asked me to marry him, could I say yes?

What if he said, “Great! I’ll give you two weeks, but then we’re getting hitched whether you’re ready or not”?

Yikes!

It hit me at that point that I had always WANTED to get married like that. Not elope necessarily, but once we know, we KNOW, and we’re doing it NOW! I wanted my friends and family to be there, but I didn’t want to spend months planning a big fancy wedding. I never had.

So, there was a practical part to what God’s telling me to do here. He was saving me the headache of planning in a crunch! I’d be able to say yes and marry quickly without worrying about too much because I’d already have the big decisions made.

I kind of liked this plan!

An Eternal Parallel

The next thing God showed me about this rather random request is that just like the ten virgins who didn’t know when the bridegroom was going to show up, I don’t know when my husband is going to show up. Neither do I know when THE Bridegroom is going to return for me.

Not only do I need to be ready to marry up quick, but I need to be ready to leave this world for a much better one “in the twinkling of an eye.” I’m not going to have time to plan and get my ducks in a row when Jesus comes back. I have to have it all ready to go – I have to have ME all ready to go – the instant I hear that trumpet sound.

 That’s really what faith is all about, isn’t it?


Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

~ Hebrews 11:1 ~


Even though there was not a man in sight to marry at the moment, God was asking me to not only pray in faith for my husband to come, but to act on that faith and make preparations for when he came.

I had to trust that I did hear God correctly, that he did intend for me to marry one day.

If I didn’t really believe a groom was coming, I didn’t have to worry about planning. But, if I really and truly believed that God was bringing a husband for me, I had to plan for when he finally decided to show up.

It all came down to a lesson in faith, a lesson in trusting the God who made those promises.

A Lesson in Faith for All of Us

God is asking all of us not only to talk about faith, but to live in faith, to live like He’s coming back for us, like we really believe it.

The only way we can make plans for an uncertain future and keep living from a heart wholly devoted to Christ is if we are sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not yet see.

The only way we can make plans for an uncertain future and keep living from a heart wholly devoted to Christ is if we are SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not yet see. Click To Tweet

By the way, after an 11-year “dating drought,” my husband DID eventually show up. We met online, and once he arrived on the scene, we went from matched to married in 5 months, including a 5-week engagement.

Needless to say, I was SO glad God had me prepare for a quick run for a good, long while before it actually happened! In fact, after prepping for a 2-week engagement, five weeks was a luxury!

What future hopes & dreams are you holding on to?

Is God asking you to make a plan NOW for when He brings them to fruition?

Is He asking you to make space in your life for this hoped-for something new?

Tell us in the comments!

I hadn't dated in 11 years. WHY would God ask me to plan a wedding with no groom in sight?! Turns out, it all came down to a lesson in faith.

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As a former University Resident Director, Career Counselor, Certified Personality Trainer, and high school Spanish teacher, Laura has quite the “scattered” background — with one underlying theme: education! She writes to teach and inspire women on topics related to faith, family, and lifework. She is also a resume writer, specializing in resumes for moms, career changers, and new graduates.

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