Where I Am

God, not my marital status, defines my life. It’s amazing how much easier it was to live by that axiom as a single person. Paul is definitely correct in saying that a married person is concerned about pleasing his/her spouse, and not so focused on serving God fully. Somehow I got it in my head that I could still be as focused on God as a married woman as I was as a single woman. How did I manage to convince myself that Paul was lying to me?

As a single person, all I had to worry about was me and what God was doing in, through, and around me. Now as a married woman, I’m focused on me, my husband, and if there’s enough time, God. (I do realize those priorities are completely out of order, and I’m working on it.) The point is I totally took for granted all the brain power and time I had at my disposal as a single person to really delve into the God world, and I instead spent so much time and energy worrying about and wanting to be married. A “normal” response to the undesired single life, I realize, but not one I’m proud of at this moment.

I know all my single readers out there are about ready to string my up by my thumbs – single people are preached to all the time about not wasting the time they’ve been given AS A GIFT to focus in and serve God. Do any of us, as single people, really want to hear that?? How many times did I hear married women tell me I was “so lucky” to not have a husband and a family to worry about, how “blessed” I was to be able to focus solely on God? Ug… WAY too many!

So, I will NOT use this blog post to tell singles they should treasure this time without a mate to focus on God. That “biblical” advice is NOT helpful to a heart who simply wants to love and be loved. I will, however, draw attention to the part of Paul’s letter where he tells ALL of us, REGARDLESS of our marital status, that we are to be living, obeying, loving, and believing RIGHT WHERE WE ARE. As a single person, I got way to caught up in wanting a husband to really be available to God. As a married woman, I’m way too caught up in trying to figure out this whole marriage thing to be fully available to God. What’s the common denominator here? I’m way too caught up in something else to be truly available to God!

Here’s to a new commitment to keep my eyes open to what God is doing right here, to refocus on Him, and to not let myself become so distracted by where I’m not that I can’t see where I am.